Small Group Questions on Relationships for Teenagers
Bring up relationships in a teen small group and suddenly everyone has opinions. The usually-quiet kid in the back leans forward. The student who never talks has something to say. Relationships are the topic that unlocks the room — because they’re the terrain every teenager is already navigating, all the time.
That’s an opportunity. But it’s also a responsibility. Relationship discussions with teenagers go one of two ways: they stay shallow (“What does the Bible say about dating?”) or they go somewhere real (“What does it look like to actually love someone who’s hard to love?”). The difference is almost always the quality of the questions you ask.
This guide gives you discussion questions across four relationship categories — friendship, romantic relationships, family, and conflict — with Scripture anchors and leader notes for each. Use them as standalone sessions or pull individual questions into other series.
Want a structured way to take this further? Ori lets you assign a Bible reading plan on relationships, track student engagement, and keep the conversation going between sessions. Try Ori free for 14 days.
Section 1: Friendship — What Makes a Real One?
Anchor texts: Proverbs 17:17, John 15:13, 1 Samuel 18:1-4 (David and Jonathan)
“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” — Proverbs 17:17 (NIV)
Discussion Questions:
- What’s the difference between a friend and an acquaintance? What makes someone cross the line into actually being a real friend to you?
- Proverbs 17:17 says a friend “loves at all times” — including hard times. Have you ever had a friend show up for you when things were hard? What did they do?
- John 15:13 says the greatest love is to lay down your life for a friend. You obviously don’t have to die for your friends — but what does sacrificial friendship actually look like in your daily life?
- David and Jonathan had a friendship so close that “the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David” (1 Samuel 18:1). What would it take for you to have that kind of depth with someone? What gets in the way?
- Is there someone you’ve been a poor friend to lately — someone you’ve neglected, let down, or been too distracted for? What would it take to repair that?
Leader note: The David and Jonathan story is worth reading together briefly — it’s a radical model of loyalty and vulnerability between two people. Don’t shy away from describing it as a covenant friendship; that’s the language the text uses.
Section 2: Romantic Relationships — What Actually Matters
Anchor texts: 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, Song of Solomon 2:7, 2 Corinthians 6:14
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.” — 1 Corinthians 13:4 (NIV)
Discussion Questions:
- What do most people your age think a good relationship looks like? Where do those ideas come from — movies, social media, what you’ve watched in your family, something else?
- Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 slowly. Which of these descriptions of love is hardest to find in actual relationships you’ve seen? Which one is hardest to live out yourself?
- Song of Solomon 2:7 says “do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires” — a verse about the right timing of romantic love. How do you think about timing in relationships? Does it matter when in life you pursue something serious?
- What does a healthy relationship need in order to be healthy? If you made a list of non-negotiables, what would be on it?
- If the person you date or someday marry is watching your life right now — who are you becoming? What kind of person do you want to be before you’re in a serious relationship?
Leader note: Avoid making this a “rules of dating” lecture. The goal is to help students think carefully about what love actually requires of them — not to create a rulebook. Apply 1 Corinthians 13 broadly: these descriptions apply to every relationship, not just romance.
Section 3: Family — When the Hardest Relationships Are at Home
Anchor texts: Ephesians 6:1-3, Luke 15:11-32, Colossians 3:12-14
“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” — Colossians 3:13 (NIV)
Discussion Questions:
- What’s the hardest relationship in your family right now? Not looking for names — just the dynamic. What makes it hard?
- Ephesians 6:1-3 tells children to honor their parents. How do you honor a parent when you disagree with them — or when the relationship is really complicated?
- In the parable of the prodigal son (Luke 15), both sons have strained relationships with the father. The younger son breaks trust badly and comes back repentant. The older son feels unseen and burns with resentment. Which one do you relate to more?
- Colossians 3 tells us to bear with each other — to absorb some friction without giving it back. What’s the most friction you’ve absorbed recently in a family relationship? How did you handle it?
- What’s something you want your family relationships to look like when you’re 25 or 30? What would you need to do now to help make that possible?
Leader note: Be aware that some students are in genuinely difficult family situations — divorce, absent parents, abuse. Create space for honesty without requiring disclosure. Question 3 (prodigal son) often surfaces deep feelings about fathers without requiring students to name what they’re carrying.
Section 4: Conflict — What the Bible Actually Says About Repairing What’s Broken
Anchor texts: Matthew 18:15-17, Romans 12:17-18, Ephesians 4:26-27
“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” — Romans 12:18 (NIV)
Discussion Questions:
- How do you usually handle conflict? Are you someone who confronts it, avoids it, or explodes and apologizes later?
- Matthew 18:15 says to go directly to the person who has hurt you — one on one, not by telling other people first. How often do you actually do that? What makes it hard?
- Paul says “as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” That phrase “as far as it depends on you” is interesting — it implies peace isn’t always possible. When is peace genuinely not possible, and what do you do then?
- Ephesians 4:26 says “do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” What does it mean to deal with anger in the right timeframe — not burying it, not exploding, but actually resolving it? What does that look like practically?
- Is there a relationship right now that’s broken or strained that you’ve been avoiding? What’s one step you could take this week — even a small one — toward repairing it?
Leader note: Matthew 18:15 is a practical and often surprising verse for teenagers who have grown up in a culture of indirect conflict (subtweeting, ghosting, venting to mutual friends). The directness Jesus calls for is countercultural. Name that. Ask: what would it look like to actually text that person instead of talking to everyone else about it?
How to Run a Full Relationships Series
These four sections can be used as standalone sessions or run as a 4-week series. A suggested series arc:
- Week 1: What is real friendship? (Section 1)
- Week 2: What does the Bible say about dating and romantic love? (Section 2)
- Week 3: Family — the hardest relationships (Section 3)
- Week 4: Conflict and repair (Section 4)
For the full session structure framework — check-in, opening question, text, discussion, response — see Bible Study Lessons for Youth Group. For more discussion question ideas by category, see the full Youth Group Discussion Questions bank.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it appropriate to discuss dating in a teen small group setting?
Yes — with care and wisdom. The goal isn’t to give a comprehensive “theology of dating” lecture. It’s to help students think about what love actually requires of them and who they’re becoming. Keep it Scripture-anchored and principle-focused rather than rule-focused.
What if a student discloses something serious (abuse, unsafe home situation) during the family session?
Know your mandatory reporting obligations before you run this session. If a student discloses abuse or an unsafe situation, your responsibility is to follow your church’s protocol — which typically means involving a pastor and potentially CPS. Don’t promise confidentiality before a session on family.
How do I keep the conversation from becoming gossip about specific people?
Set a norm at the start: “We talk about our own experience, not other people’s.” When questions get specific, redirect to: “Tell me more about your experience — not the other person’s story.” The “no names” rule keeps it safe and on track.
Can I use these questions with a co-ed group?
Most questions work in co-ed settings. The romantic relationship section (Section 2) is often more productive when leaders give students a chance to write their answers privately first before sharing — it reduces performance and increases honesty.
Keep the Conversation Going Between Sessions
Relationship content hits differently when students are also engaging with Scripture on their own throughout the week. Ori lets you assign a reading plan tied to each session’s Scripture and track who’s been reading before they walk in.
Try Ori free for 14 days and run your relationships series with students who’ve been sitting with the texts all week. Start your free trial here.